marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
