i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
