Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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