Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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