I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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