So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
