Me too!
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize