ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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