He is such a slut. More and more my type.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
