from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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