He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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