ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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