She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize