too bad you live with your parents still
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
