i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i think i have two assholes
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
