I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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