ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
