just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
