we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
