I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
