Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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