we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
