I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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