dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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