I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
