Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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