she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
