Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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