I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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