nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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