I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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