All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
MIDGETS
????
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
