Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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