Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
All I want is dick and wine.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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