I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
