wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
