When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
