Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
time to smoke my breakfast
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
This toilet bowl is my home.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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