Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
