That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize