Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I need water and some morals
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
