Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
