Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
