i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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