STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
