My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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