i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
