Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
