somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I am one with the molecules
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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