I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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