i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
