Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize