Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
