there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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