Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
