I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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