:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
