I'm really into asian looking animals
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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