No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
