one word: firstdatebathroomanal
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
