super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
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