I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
