Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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