Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
