dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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