haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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