Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
