The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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