Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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